Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
