There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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