I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
