I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
