How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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