Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
