Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
