We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
