Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize