it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
