Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize