it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
