Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
