Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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