ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my being single is dangerous.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
