I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
