You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
