ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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