nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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