remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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