hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
