I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
