so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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