I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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