they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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