I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
