You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
