i was born a porn star she said
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
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