tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
