I think my fart just growled at me.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
