i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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