if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
