I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
