apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
