He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
