This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
