I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
