Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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