Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
