I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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