Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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