My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
it's great music for shaving your balls
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
