We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
