This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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