It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How does one acquire holy water?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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