you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Randomize
