I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
