Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
