I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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