I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
