My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
