hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
