i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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