you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
