I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
a search helicopter?!
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
