Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
