dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
