i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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