Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize