Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
