You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
