that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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