he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
