I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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