you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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