I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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