then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
