I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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