Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
