what day is it and did you see me today?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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